Uncanny X-Men #517 Review
Matt Fraction continues his godawful writing and Greg Land continues to trace in “Uncanny X-Men #517. For the first time in almost a year, I actually read an entire issue of Uncanny X-Men just so I could write this dazzling review.
For just $3.99, the entire issue focuses on a ridiculous battle scene where the X-Men, Namor and Magneto fight four Predator X creatures. Oh, my, remember them from Messiah CompleX? Ho hum. The X-Men have beat these guys plenty of times before, and, of course, the X-Men obliterate them, again, in #517. Plus, they’ve “got freakin’ Magneto,” so says Cyclops. (Yes, he actually says that.)
About two noteworthy things actually happened in this entire issue, I think: something about the Phoenix Force leaving the Cuckoos — hey, remember that utterly embarrassing series called “Phoenix: Warsong” written by Greg Pak? Yeah, I guess Matt Fraction wants to follow up on that. Anyways, Scott notices that the Cuckoos have suddenly fallen to the ground and is worried that he has no psychic connection anymore – nevermind the fact that three helpless girls are lying unconscious on the ground while Predator X is out and about.
Oh, and Scalphunter is in the “X-Brig” with Danger. The X-Men are now taking prisoners? Yeah, this isn’t a surprise.
As for the art, my eyes immediately bled as I looked at the first page of Uncanny X-Men #517. I don’t even need to check the front page to see who drew this – no. It’s Greg Land, the porntastic artist, again. Pornface. Pornface. Pornface. Seriously, when will Marvel fire this guy? Oh, wait, Joey Q said Land is a good man because he supports his family and likes to draw. (I would provide a link to this interview, but I cannot find it.)
Of course, I have to talk about Emma Frost, my precious character gone completely wrong, thanks to Matt Fraction. So, she is still stuck in diamond form with The Void stuck in her forehead – no, literally. It’s literally stuck in there. You can even see it.
So, overall, this issue sucked, although it really isn’t a surprise. I’m having much more fun writing this review than I had reading the issue. Horrible, terrible, awful issue that I wish it could be erased from my memory. Marvel sucks and so do Matt Fraction and Greg Land.